Up until very recently, both Apple and Microsoft seemed to be invincible. Apple had announced the impending release of their ground-breaking iPhone, as well as the bold move to switch to Intel chips in their popular laptops. Microsoft was continuing its strong share of the Operating System market, with Windows XP, and the excitement surrounding Windows Vista, previously named the mysterious Longhorn.

But both companies have earned their dubious nicknames, namely Crapple and Micro$honk, in the latest news to come out regarding the pair. Apple’s iPhone has been hacked already into its initial release phase, killing any-and-all claims they made about the security and stability of Apple products. Hopefully now we will see the end of those idiotic parody ads which target PCs (and specifically Microsoft) and harp on about the impervious Apple operating system, including the most ludicrous notion that it is 100% virus free.

In addition to this, I would like to add that the power cord on my 2004 Apple Powerbook (see image above - with closeup of the plug inset) melted last night in a scene reminiscent of the infamous episode where a magsafe power cord melted after the owner’s cat urinated on it. Well, I can confirm that the older style laptop power cord doesn’t require urine to set it ablaze, it just needs to be slightly worn, and it overheats to the point of sparks, smoke and fire followed by blasphemous swearing amid the frantic extinguishing of molten melted plastic.

Wow, what an endorsement for using PC and Microsoft products you might say. Well…. not quite. The head of Acer, a gentleman by the name of Gianfranco Lanci, has stated that the “entire industry” is dissapointed with Windows Vista. On the surface this mightn’t seem like such a damaging statement, but given that it is made by the head of arguably the world’s worst PC manufacturing company (Acer computers are complete and utter garbage) it is a damning remark against Micro$honk. I can also confirm Gianfranco’s understatement of the year, because I have used Windows Vista extensively and found it to be hellishly slow, even on fast machines with tonnes of memory, and all it seems to want to do once it has finished loading is install patches and updates. Is it really that insecure? Vista acts like the kid who is allergic to everything and has to live in a bubble or he’ll get infected. You feel like someone breathing on you could knock you out whilst you are using Vista, which is in direct contrast to what Micro$honk wants you to believe - which is that you are in control of your destiny using a powerful operating system. Errr back to the drawing board boys this one is a dud!

It’s time for Crapple and Micro$honk to adopt a more humble approach to the promotion and release of their products, because they only shoot themselves in the foot when they use buzzwords like security, stability, power and control when describing their products which prove to be anything but what they claim.

Update 26th July: It would seem that all this hacker talk has affected sales of the iPhone. It is now affecting their share price. Time to heed my warning perhaps